I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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