Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
