Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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