I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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