Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
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He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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