My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
