You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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