Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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