i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
