roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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