suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
