My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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