She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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