didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
