totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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