I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
