Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize