Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
