That's when you crack a 10am beer
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
