saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
