Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
