Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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