Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
