you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
