I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
