this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
