Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
