I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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