I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
porn star boner night. come get it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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