why didn't you poke me back
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My vagina is officially offended.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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