youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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