I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
