Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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