Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
