For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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