There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
