we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am available for nakedness
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