I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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