I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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