3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
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I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
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He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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