Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize