ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They are going to name an STD after you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
