Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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