I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
