My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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