Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
