I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
