I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
