I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
