You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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