I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
