who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
