3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
