I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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