Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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