how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
