my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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