In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
