We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
