am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
