I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize