He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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