I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
