I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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