I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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