i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
