shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
