I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize