yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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